Starting Fresh

I wondered where to even begin with this blog. I've probably been talking about  this for months now. There are so many things I wish I could fit into this one post but I have to start somewhere. So I will start with who I am and what a normal day is like for me.

Usually on a regular day I get up while my husband and sweet little 4 year old are still snoring away. I do the usual shower, dress, make-up and hair. I prepare for the work day ahead and fix my lunch. By this time my little man is hyper and jumping around on the bed. I give my husband a goodbye kiss and walk out the door. Let's stop right there. This sounds like any normal day for every working adult. There is one little difference. Worry. By the time I have finished this whole routine I have worried about every possible scenario for the day. While I was in the shower I thought about what would make me nervous at work today and if I would be able to leave work if I got really nervous. When getting dressed I wondered who would yell at me today and stress me out (the life of customer service).  While doing my make-up I thought about the drive to work and if I would get into an accident on the way. While drying my hair I wondered when next time I would get sick would be. When I kissed my little boy I wondered if he would get hurt today or choke while I was gone. When I kissed my husband I thought about his safety and if he would get in an accident. This all happened in less than an hour. 

Most of the time when I get home I'm completely exhausted because I just spent most of my day trying to make it through the day. My body hurts because I stay so tense and my mind is tired of thinking. Over the past 6 years I have developed ways to calm myself down (which usually make me look funny but hey whatever works!) Breathing has probably become my best defense. I do not take medicine anymore (I'll cover that on another post) and feel that the best way for ME to overcome these challenges is to have support. My husband has been a lifesaver. He understands how I feel and makes sure that I am comfortable in every situation. He knows what makes me nervous and does everything he can to fix it. I have few friends that REALLY understand what it is all about and that's okay. I don't expect everyone to get it or even try to understand it. 

My husband recently told me a quote that Tom Hanks lives by. He said very simply " Suck it up". This may seem harsh but the more I thought about it the more I realized he was right. These things are going to happen and worrying isn't going to fix or change anything. The most it will do is cause stress on my body. So that is going to be my new motto to live by. Every morning when I'm constantly thinking thinking thinking I will simply say:

Suck it up.