Like Mother, Like Son?

I really try to blog as much as possible but it seems there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. I've had a really good past few days. Not much anxiety which is actually nice. Kind of feels like a vacation! 


So over the past few months I have been really focusing on one thing. My 4 year old son. One thing I have noticed recently is how many times he says "I'm scared".  When he doesn't want to sleep alone, when he climbs a playground or even when he is playing alone. It makes me fear wonder if I have had any influence on that. I am a constant worrier who is scared to do half of the things that came so easily to me 6 years ago. I really try to not say the "S" word around him. I'm so afraid that my anxiety will rub off on him or that if he knows I'm afraid that he will feel the need to be afraid as well. A little boy should only be afraid of monsters in the closet, not of playing on a playground.


 The last time he told me he was scared, I ended up in a 3 story CLAUSTROPHOBIC McDonald's playground with a section that probably could only fit a newborn baby. I was so freaked out that I would get stuck but I was not letting him leave until he went through it. So being the "brave" mom that I try to be, I strapped on my big girl pants and climbed up the death trap playground. When I saw how scared he was I just pulled him with me and by the time we made it through to the top he was just as excited as I knew he would be. About 20 minutes later when it was time to go I ended up having to go get him because he wouldn't leave. 


This is the kind of situation that reminds me that no matter how much I want to kick and scream about going somewhere and how nervous I am, I should ALWAYS try it. Even if I have to sit in the car for 30 minutes before just to prepare myself. I've never had anything happen to me during a panic attack that was so awful I couldn't handle it and that's what I need to remember.